Growing up you hear comments and jokes mentioning how “things” physically change in your 40’s. I thought that it was presumptuous for people to only mark their 40’s with that comment. There’s even a movie, This Is Forty, that highlights the decade. Things change in your teens, 20’s, and 30’s, too, and I’m sure there are changes when you hit 50’s and 60’s.

Then I entered my 40’s. And they were right.

It’s not that the other decades don’t see change, but it’s what and how they change. They didn’t explain that the real notable thing was the RANDOMNESS of said changes and the 180-degree shifts in your body. It’s like when your car crosses over a certain mileage, and all of a sudden, the check engine light comes on and warning buzzers and beeps go off. It was fine before, but now there’s always at least one warning light popping on.

For example, the out of the blue aches and pains. Sometimes you wake up with a pain in your back that wasn’t there the day before. Sometimes that same pain disappears as randomly as it appeared. You think “Ok, fine, maybe I slept wrong.” But then you’re putting dishes away and you’re lifting your arm to place the last glass on the shelf and there’s a sharp pain in your shoulder. For no reason. It’s a motion that has been executed 10,000 times before without incident, until that day.  That same pain becomes a long-term tenant for months. What in the world?!? How does that work?

And what is with the changes with our eyes?? How can I be nearsighted AND farsighted at the same time?!? That seemed to happen literally overnight. The squinting and adjusting the distance to focus on an object is quite irritating. Don’t get me started on how light can now jack everything up even wearing glasses. I’m still trying to figure out how when I put on a pair of NON-prescription sunglasses the other day, they cleared up my vision slightly. Huh. Weird.

Diet and nutrition are a complete train wreck. Everything I knew about what my body liked was put in a Margarita maker and tossed about. What my body used to metabolize, now finds a comfy home on my hips and bum. My beloved pasta that used to be a staple in my diet, now only makes a rare appearance every few months. I have to prepare for a pasta dinner like a multi-day military operation starting with increasing vegetable and water intake days before. This helps mitigate and shorten the duration of the bloating and 5-8 lbs. water weight gain that happens during and immediately afterwards. I’m usually back to ”normal” 2-3 days after the meal.

Exercise is tricky. You have to be careful of what moves to do and follow strict form. No more half-a*s’ing and getting away with it. There’s a real threat of injury. It’s all fun and games until you throw a hip out doing a lunge. Oh, and I strategically plan floor exercises to minimize the number times I get up and down because that’s just asking for a back or knee injury. Not to mention I don’t enjoy doing the “turtle on its back” imitation more than I need to.

Bodily functions are just….. different. Frequency, form, and type are all… different. You find yourself adjusting your diet because of how they impact body functions. Some foods aren’t permitted because they give you heartburn and terrible gas, and others have become staples because they keep you “regular”.

Hormones seem to get as confused as Biden in the White House rose garden. I’ve never been pregnant so I can’t compare to that, but I can say that one day I’m fine and the next I’m crying at a tissue commercial. Testosterone causes crazy facial hair to spring out to rival the Duck Dynasty cast. Tweezers no longer suffice. A small electric razor or wax are best. I’m not looking forward to menopause when sh*t really hits the fan.

Regardless of the above, I do enjoy my 40’s. I’m much more patient and confident. All my hard work in my career and my personal life has come to fruition. Life seems to have leveled out to eliminate most of the big “drama” swings. My moto: simple is better.

Cheers!